The End

Adult content


“How are you holding up Am?” Jellybean asked as I raided the fridge.

“I’m okay.” I mumbled.

“Are you sure cause you know if you need anyone to talk too.” Jellybean began.

I peeked out at him and glared. “Listen J.B. if I hear that phrase one more time I swear I am going to scream!”

Jellybean chuckled and backed away a little bit, “Sorry..I just was worried about you.”

I sighed and said, “I know and thanks but I just try not to think about it, ya know?”

Jellybean smiled and nodded. I grabbed some leftovers and we sat down to watch t.v. Jellybean distracted me so I couldn’t dwell on everything that had happened lately. My mother had been released from the hospital a few weeks ago. My father’s funeral had happened as soon as she was released. I found out how many women and men my father had slept with when they all appeared at his grave site.  Luckily none of them claimed to have a child with him so no half siblings to worry about. I got to meet Jonny’s mother Melinda and I found out Lionel was my half brother. Basically my whole life got a lot crappier.The only bright side of it all was…Jellybean. He was constantly making me laugh and reminding me to eat. When I stayed up crying late at night it was Jellybean who came to my room and held me.

I was slowly falling in love with him…I knew from Jellybean’s past that he wasn’t related to me in any way. He told me he was Jonny’s long time friend and then my dad adopted him but it felt wrong. I mean he was raised as my brother my whole life but…I knew…I was falling in love with him.

and I knew he felt the same way.


“YOU ARE NOT MY MOM!” Lionel screamed.

I sighed as I endured another one of Lionel’s temper tantrums. He was a grumpy child and would go through mood swings and outbursts often. Leonie had abandoned him to my care when he was only three years old. It took months for him to stop crying out for her at night.

The other kids try to be there for Lionel but he often lashed out at them as well. I think it was because he felt abandoned by both his mom and dad. I was so tired all the time the cancer was weighing heavily on me now. I should have passed away a long time ago but I just couldn’t leave these children all alone.

My daughter Amber was a godsend, she was the only one who could reach Lionel. She would read to him before he fell asleep. Even before she went to prom she made sure to read to Lionel as her father had done for her.

Speaking of Amber, I was surprised when she expressed her love for Jellybean. I had seen the attraction there for a long time and approved of it. He wasn’t her brother and he loved her. Every mother wants someone who will protect and care for their child.

The children seemed to grow so fast before my eyes. Amber and Jellybean graduated and went to college together. Yet their love for each other didn’t falter it only grew.

Amber was the one who popped the question to Jellybean.  He said yes and they were engaged. I wish Chad and I had been that in love. Maybe we would have grown old together if he had loved me.

Then Jonathan and Jellybean graduated from college!

It was on Jellybean’s graduation day that Amber and Jellybean got married at the courthouse.

A year later my only child, Amber graduated from college with the highest honors.

Amber and Jellybean found out they were expecting a few days after Amber’s graduation.

What happened to Jonathan you might wonder? Well he found love as well in Amber’s best friend Caterina.

Lionel grew into a daredevil as he got older and became a race car driver. It was his “outlet” as his therapist calls it, for his abandonment issues. I wish I could have done more to help him but I feel we all did the best we could in being there for Lionel. He barely graduated from high school because he often skipped school to go to the race track. His mother, my sister, never talked to him though he often searched for her. I knew Leonie did not want to be found but I could not tell Lionel this, it would break his heart.

I felt a swell of pride as I look at “my” children now. All of them have grown up so beautifully…I knew Chad would have been proud. Especially if he saw how beautiful our granddaughter Annalise was.


“NICOLE!NICOLE, Focus on my voice! Find your way back to us! NICOLE!” she repeated over and over.

She had been doing this for almost five years. Trying all forms of therapy to reach the young girl so far nothing had worked.

Dr. Davis stared at the young girl sitting before her. Nicole had been a patient in her facility for over five years. Her father had placed her in Dr. Davis’ care when the girl was found at  murder scene and was catatonic. Police had tried to ask the girl what happened but she wouldn’t speak. It was as if something so traumatic had happened that Nicole had shut down and retreated into her own mind.

It was today that Dr. Davis decided to involve Nicole’s father in her therapy. He had refused all other times but today he finally said yes. Mr. Duffy stared at Nicole’s unmoving form as Dr. Davis tried relentlessly to reach Nicole.

“Mr. Duffy why don’t you say something to Nicole. I’m sure she’s missed you after all it’s been five years.” Dr. Davis said softly.

“LISTEN THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME! She won’t ever come back to us.” Mr. Duffy hissed.  He stood up to leave when suddenly Nicole’s body shifted slightly.

“Hello Daddy…” Nicole said in a monotone voice. Dr. Davis gasped as the young girl spoke.

“Nicole..Nicole dear. My name is Dr. Davis here at the psychiatric institute of Bridgeport. What is the last thing you remember dear?” Dr. Davis asked softly.

“I remember-” Nicole began

Mr. Duffy jumped up and said, “Dr. Davis please! My daughter has just woken up from a traumatizing five year coma. Please give her some time to adjust. I would like to take my daughter for a walk among the grounds to discuss everything. Then I will bring her back.”

“Of course Mr. Duffy I understand. I’ll let you use one of the rooms so you two can have more privacy.” Dr. Davis said

Dr. Davis looked at Nicole but could gauge nothing from the girl’s outward expressions. She seemed to almost be lacking emotion of any kind.

“Nicole dear your father will be in your room in a few minutes. I will tell the other girls to leave and give you two some privacy.” Dr. Davis said with a kind smile. Nicole gave a slight nod before being led out of the room by a male orderly.

She walked into a room surrounded by girls in the same white dress she wore. Though Nicole knew she should know who these girls were, she had no idea.

The girls looked at her as the orderly told them to give Nicole some privacy. She wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. Nicole had been numb for so long it felt weird to feel anything…especially what she felt now….fear.

The orderly let her father in and said, ” I will be giving you two half an hour and no more. I will be back soon.”

She wanted to say something…she should have said something.

“Hello Nicki baby, did you miss me?” her father said in a seductive tone.

Her father gave her flowers and automatically she took them. She should have let them fall to the floor but she didn’t.

“I remember…what you did.” Nicole said, “i’ll tell…I’ll scream.” She said as her father inched closer.

Her father cornered her against the wall. His hand swiftly went to her mouth and the other traveled beneath her skirt…the way it had five years ago. Nicole struggled against him but the more she struggled the rougher his hands become. She hated the hot tears that burned beneath her closed eyes. Five years ago…he had done this to her everyday…every night…his hands and “other things” would touch her. Then finally her mother caught him…she saw him on top of her daughter. Her mother saw her daughter’s tears, the crazed look in her husband’s eyes and her daughter’s underwear thrown carelessly near the bed. Her mother lunged for her father and Nicole got up from underneath her father’s heavy body. Nicole turned around as she reached for her panties and watched as her father suffocated her mother with his bare hands. Nicole screamed as loud as she could and cried as she watched the life leave her mother’s eyes. Her father, the police chief, was never arrested or caught instead it was said to be a mugging gone wrong. Once her mother was lying dead on the floor, her father came at her. He raped her over and over that night before leaving her to report the mugging he had walked in on.

Nicole was snapped back to reality with each thrust of her father’s body into her. He grunted over and over into her ear. He kept kissing her and touching her. She struggled again…she couldn’t let this happen….not again.

“I’m taking you home….you’ll be all mine.” he moaned in her ear as he pushed into her with his penis. It felt like he was tearing her apart. She struggled and finally kicked him hard. He loosened his grip for a moment…a moment was all she needed to run. As she ran for the door she felt his hands on her neck. Nicole struggled to scream…to breathe…but she couldn’t.

Her life was slipping away and all she could do was let it pass by her. She remembered the alternate reality she had created for herself during those five years. She thought of the life she should have had…a life with prom, a boyfriend, college…all of that was gone now.


Nicole Duffy was found in her room apparently strangled to death by her father. Police Chief Duffy has a warrant out for his arrest and if you have seen him please contact your local authorities. The autopsy report shows that Nicole was raped by her father and in a diary found in her family’s home it is apparent this happened for years but was never reported. Our prayers go out to her extended family and friends.

Her psychiatrist Dr. Davis is being investigated for poor conduct in leaving a patient unattended with a visitor. She is the person who found Nicole’s body and says it haunts her that she is responsible for this tragedy.

R.I.P. Nicole…you are in our hearts always.

Thank you to all of my readers 🙂 I appreciate all of the comments and “likes” I have received on this blog. Hopefully that continues on my next one as well. Here is my new blog:

P.S- I do not support rape, incest, abuse or anything it is wrong!


Dreamless Dreams


“Jonathan, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry.” Leonie sobbed to me.

“What is going on, no one will tell me anything! Where is Sierra and Dad!?”I yelled as the sirens surrounded our home. I could hear the commotion outside for the past ten minutes. At first Jelly Bean, Amber and I heard arguing then suddenly a loud bang and then another. Jelly Bean had grabbed Amber and held her down to the ground while I grabbed Lionel. Leonie came running in a few minutes ago screaming for us to call 9-1-1. We did but she refused to tell us what happened or even allow us to look out the window.

Amber was anxious and Lionel kept screaming from the sirens so I told them to play in the basement. Leonie had pulled me aside and led me up here.

“It’s your father..Jonny…Chad is dead. I’m so sorry.” Leonie said as her eyeliner and tears streaked down her freckled face.

“What about Sierra….what was that other noise?” I said as I tried to process what I was hearing.

“She was injured but I think she’ll be okay. It was Jerrod, your father’s co worker he killed Chad and then himself. He had tried to kill me but Sierra pushed me to the ground. She saved my life!” Leonie cried.

This whore got to live while the people I cared about are hurt! My father can’t be dead, he can’t be!


Leonie shook her head and stared as she said, ” Jonny you don’t understand! This was because of some psycho co worker there was nothing we could have done! Please understand!”

“You tore my family apart. We were happy before you came here before you ruined everything!”  I yelled.

“Please Jonny don’t do this right now. I need you to help me hold it together for the kids sake. Amber, Jelly Bean and Lionel need you. Your the level headed and mature one here.” she pleaded.

“Lionel? I doubt he even knows your his mother! I want you out of my house by the end of the week. I’ll go talk to Amber and Jellybean to tell them the bad news. Then I’ll go check on your sister who risked her life to save her home wrecking sister.” I hissed.


When Jerrod showed up I felt my chest tighten. He held the gun tight in his hand as he walked closer to Chad. Sierra and I backed away slowly toward the house. I hoped he wouldn’t notice our slow movement. Then he began to speak, “Chad…who would you choose? It’s me right? It’s me you love right sweetheart?”

Chad began to stutter and tried to calm Jerrod down yet this only made Jerrod more and more aggravated.

“ANSWER ME! YOU LOVE ME RIGHT?” Jerrod screamed.

“ was supposed to just be about fun…I’m sorry if I hurt yo-” Chad began to say.

He was silenced when Jerrod pressed the trigger. The sound boomerang in my ears. I wanted to shut my eyes but I kept watching..I watched as Chad’s green eyes went wide and then his body flew back. I listened as Sierra screamed and rushed in front of me. I hadn’t noticed Jerrod pointing the gun at me. I hadn’t noticed as he pressed the trigger once again. I felt the impact when Sierra’s body pushed mine down. I screamed…more for myself…to wake me up…to tell me this couldn’t be real… and then I heard the final bang. I gently pushed Sierra off of me. I cradled her to me as I watched Jerrod’s body slump to the ground near Chad’s. It seemed almost poetic to the observing eye. Two lovers united in death. Sierra’s blood flowed freely around us. I put pressure on her shoulder blade where the bullet had went straight through. Why wasn’t I waking up? Why did Sierra’s blood feel so real?


My father was dead…it was all over the news. I didn’t even need Jon to tell me. While Jellybean and I had been in the basement with Steven my friends were texting me like crazy.

Am! OMG wut happened at ur house!

Amber!!! Who got shot at your house, my mom said she saw it on the news there are like body bags everywhere WTH!

Texts like that came one after another until Jellybean took the phone from me and turned it off. I cried until Jon came down to get us. Jellybean explained what happened. Both boys hugged me tight as I sobbed. Steven had fell asleep so luckily I wasn’t disturbing him. It was Jellybean who took Steven’s sleeping body up to the crib and tucked him in. He fed and changed him as I went into my room. I turned the light off and sat there in the dark. My mind raced as I thought about my mom…if she would be ok? My dad, a cheater who was killed by some psycho boyfriend. I didn’t even know my dad was gay? bisexual? bicurious?…I’ll just stick with cheater.

My mind kept racing and racing until I fell asleep and dreamed dreamless dreams. Tomorrow would be better..right?




Jerrod was a friend from the office and at first he was a nice acquaintance.

Eventually he became so much more…

The kids:

“Why aren’t you doing your homework Jonny?!” Amber whined.

Jonny shrugged his shoulders, “Finished it.”

Jelly and Amber rolled their eyes. “Damn Genius!” Jelly muttered.

Amber’s eyes were wide as she said, “Don’t say damn Jellybean!”

“You need to calm down your temper Jellybean! What would Mom say?” Jonny whispered.

“Which mom do you mean Jonny? Last time I checked we have a new one every five minutes!” Jellybean yelled.

Amber looked around nervously and said, “My mommy is with Daddy so she’s your mommy Jellybean!”

“What about Le-” Jellybean began to say until he felt a sharp kick under the table from Jonny.

“Your right Amber, Sierra is Jelly bean’s adopted mom but he misses his real one. Right Jell?” Jonny said with encouragement.

Jellybean’s bright blue eyes twinkled with anger but it quelled when he looked at Amber’s hopeful face. He couldn’t hurt her by suggesting her father was cheating on her mom.

“Right.” Jellybean answered.


“Jerrod, Sierra is driving me insane! She keeps pressuring me about the wedding. I just can’t do this I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Every time I get close to a girl I just want nothing further than to get away. Maybe I have commitment issues…maybe I’m screwed up…maybe I need to find the right girl.” I mumbled to myself.

“Or maybe…neither of those women were right for you Chad. You have so much to offer any person can see that. Maybe you need …the right man.” Jerrod whispered.

I know it was wrong…I know I had Sierra…and Leonie… happened

We saw each other often after that. Jerrod always distracted the paparazzi so I could escape their questions about my eight year long engagement. My flings with so many women made the paparazzi never question my sexuality which saved me from rumors.

Jerrod accepted my love of sex whether it be women or men. He even hired me strippers!

While I had my fun some nights I was there for my children. My daughter Amber was the friendliest and always was the first to run up to me when I came home from “work”.

She looked a lot like my mother with her big brown eyes but with Sierra’s blond hair. Amber made lots of friends at school and would stay up telling me about her day. I always read her bedtime stories until she fell asleep.

Those months when I was happy with Jerrod and Leonie became the hardest of my life. Sierra was diagnosed with ovarian cancer…stage 4.The terminal kind…Sierra…how would I tell Amber?

Though Sierra was tired often she still found time to take care of Leonie’s son Lionel.

Leonie knew about her sister’s illness and kept pressuring me to finally tell Sierra about us. This only made me pull away from her more and I began to hang around Jerrod more and more.

I just kept thinking about Amber and how she would take the news. I couldn’t do that to my little girl…I couldn’t tell her that her mother was dying and her father was a bastard.

Though my little princess did remind me a lot of Serafina…in more ways than one.

Amber did love her little “cousin” Lionel but not Leonie…she said because Leonie was too snobby. I had to admit that was true Leonie was a bit of a snob.

As Lionel got older and Sierra got weaker I knew I would have to tell the truth.

The first person I had to talk to was my eldest son. I pulled Jonny aside one night and asked to talk.

“Jonny, I wanted to tell you something that may be hard to hear.” I started.

“Are you going to tell me about you cheating on Sierra with Leonie.” Jonny said with a roll of his eyes.

“You knew? How long?” I gasped.

“Dad I’m kind of quick with things like that. I’ve been in college classes since Freshman year of highschool. I just wish you would finally come clean.” Jonny sighed.

“I am…after Amber’s party I’m going to talk to Sierra.” I promised.


She looked exactly like Sierra…it caused me to stare at how beautiful she was.

Amber ran off after she put her cake away to go play with Lionel while I asked Sierra to talk with me for a second.

I walked past Jonny and he simply nodded his head. I knew he was encouraging me to tell her.

“Sierra this is difficult to say..” I whispered.

“What’s wrong honey? More bad news from my doctor?” Sierra asked softly.

I shook my head and said, “Not that”

“I cheated on you with Leonie…” I mumbled. Sierra’s soft hands snapped away from me as if my skin were poison.

“YOU DIRTBAG!” Sierra screamed.

“Sierra please…” I tried to say.

“I TRUSTED YOU! WE HAVE A DAUGHTER TOGETHER!” Sierra yelled at the top of her lungs.

“So he finally told you…” Leonie purred.

“YOU…YOU…DIRTY GIRL.” Sierra yelled.

Leonie chuckled as she winked at me. “Sierra hun, your my sister and all but you can’t keep a man for the life of you. Chad is such a tiger in the bedroom it was easy to have chemistry with him. The result of which is our son Lionel.”

Sierra gasped and put her hand to her heart. I walked toward Leonie and decided it was time to tell her the truth as well.

“I cheated on you too Leonie.” I said softly.

Her green eyes blazed and her voice raised to a screech as she said, “YOU BASTARD! How dare you!”

“I didn’t mean to hurt any one. I swear it. In my own way I loved both of you and neither of you all at once. I love our children our family our everything. Why can’t we keep things casual…why can’t we things the way they are without the titles and the ring?” I reasoned.

Sierra shook her head rapidly and Leonie screamed, “THIS IS NOT BIG LOVE DAMN IT! CHOOSE ONE!”

The air seemed thick as I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I stared at two women who loved me and raised my children. Two completely different women who I loved. Then I heard them mutter among themselves as they stared off towards the side entrance of the house. Suddenly Sierra screamed…

I turned around and saw Jerrod walking towards us with a gun in his hands. “He chooses me, Right Chad?


I know you guys don’t know Lionel that well but I thought maybe some of you who liked his parents’ circumstances might like him. Maybe you like the drama of being a cousin/sibling? Haha..

Mine Mine


The flowers began to arrive the moment I arrived home from the hospital. I had a stroke earlier this week without even realizing it. I was lucky that Sierra had found me when she did. I tried to lift my arm up and found it difficult. Then as I tried to speak my words sounded slurred. I simply thought I hadn’t had enough sleep. Sierra was worried and rushed me to the hospital…if she didn’t I doubt I would have made it. Hundreds of flowers came to our home from various celebrities and family members. I received some from Karlie, my twin sister. She was the only family I had left now that Trey, Cameron and Sedric had passed on from old age.

I was over 90 years old and only getting older. My thoughts often drifted back to Terry and the dream I had of us together. I tried not to think about him but my grandson Jonathan looked like his twin as well as Chad our son.

“How are you feeling mom?” Chad asked with a worried face.

I tried to smile but felt it difficult so I nodded my head. “How are the kids? I know Sierra has her hands full with Amber since I can’t help.”

Chad chuckled and said “She reminds me a lot of Serafina…always in trouble.”

I giggled and said, “You two never did get along did you?”

Chad shrugged and said, “I just felt like you were trying to replace me. I mean you and I weren’t the best of friends and then you came with this little girl who loved you. I just resented you for not fixing what we had.”

I could see the anger in his emerald eyes and his cheeks flared as he spoke.

“Chad…I’m sorry for making you feel that way but you know no one can replace you. Your my son and I love you hun. You are the reason I came back, I could have left you to my father to raise but I didn’t. I came back because I felt you needed me. As sorry as I am I am happy it has helped you to be a good parent to your children. Yet I hope you know your kids also need stability. I may have left you but I left you in a stable household. You have women in and out of this house. Your cheating affects this babies!” I chastised.

Chad sneered “Who are you to judge me?!”

Chad stormed out of the room and slammed the door. I sighed and closed my eyes..I just felt so tired. I just needed to close my eyes for a bit.


My mother died that same night that she came home from the hospital. I had never gotten a chance to say I was sorry or that I loved her. The last memory I have of her is of us arguing and me storming out on her.

I tried to spend more time with my son Jon and my adopted son Jellybean. They were closer than I had ever been with my own sister. It was easy to see they were best friends even though they were as different as possible. Jellybean was hot headed and rash while Jon was calm and collected.

The boys didn’t take it well that their grandmother had died. She had loved them both and showered them with affection. I just hoped Sierra and I were enough to help them realize they were loved.


“Leonie I wish you would stop wearing such skimpy clothing around the boys. It isn’t healthy to dress that way!” I whispered.

“Sis stop being such a prude! The kids are not even teenagers and your worried about how I dress.” Leonie complained.

“It’s Chad I am worried about Leonie. I see the way he stares at you!” I mumbled.

Leonie immediately said, “NO no Chad isn’t like that. He loves you.”

Amber screamed and I sighed as I picked her up. “i guess your right Lee, I just get insecure you know?”

Leonie smiled and nodded her head as I walked out to change Amber’s diaper. How silly of me…to think Chad would cheat. I mean he wouldn’t have stayed with me if he didn’t love me.


“Hello doll? how was your day?” Chad whispered behind me.

I smirked as the bathroom filled with the scent of his cologne. Chad shut the door behind him and I heard the sound of him twisting the lock.

“Long and  tiring. Can you think of anything to make it better?” I whispered seductively.

Chad stared at me and I could see where his mind was going..and I could see the evidence as well in his pants. “Where is everyone?” he whispered.

I smiled and said, “Your Aunt Karlie isn’t doing well Sierra took the kids to visit her at the hospital. That leaves us with a few hours to kill. Any ideas how to pass the time?”

Chad grinned devilishly as he wrapped his arms around me and said, ” I have a few ideas.”

That is usually where our rendezvous took place in the bathroom when the family went out some random place. It was exhilarating to know they could catch us at any moment yet no one ever did.

Chad Dresden, politician, was mine..all mine.



or is he?


Whatever cost


Amber was a beautiful little girl and as friendly as Chad had been. She didn’t learn her skills as quickly as Jonny had but that was okay. I had fun teaching her and spending time with her. Now that Serafina had moved out I missed having a little girl to spoil.

Sierra was a great mother to Amber and chose to be a stay at home mom. When she quit her job I could see Chad’s feelings toward her changing. Being that he was a perfectionist he did not like her decision. Chad continually argued with her that she was leeching off of his family fortune.  I tried to remind him that Sierra could always return to work after Amber got a little older but he would not hear it. Their arguments continued night after night…


“Chad can we talk?” Sierra asked.

“What Sierra, I’m putting Amber to bed. You know what you should be doing…since you are a stay at home mom..right?” I sneered.

Sierra sighed and said, “My sister Leonie is coming to stay with us for a little while. She needs a place just until she gets on her feet.”

I rolled my eyes and my cheeks burned red as I listened to her, “This isn’t a hotel Sierra…I don’t even know this girl!”

Sierra glared at me as Amber began to cry. Sierra took Amber and snuggled her.  “She’s coming okay…now we will discuss this later.”


Leonie arrived a few weeks later and had changed so much. When I had left home Leonie was geeky with acne covering her face. Her 12 year old body at 16 had annoyed her. Leonie had always been insecure about her looks. When Sierra saw her sister now she was shocked. Gone was the insecure 16 year old with braces and acne instead stood a beautiful young woman.

“How is the family life big sis?” Leonie asked.

“It’s good you have to meet your niece Amber. She is beautiful and looks a lot like me and her grandmother Kristie.” I said with a smile.

“Kristie Dresden? Oh my gosh she is so famous like she traveled around the world and her dad Nate was a rock star! I heard Chad is in the newspaper for ‘rising politican.’ You have a good set up here with a rich cutie like him!” Leonie squealed.

I shook my head and smiled, “It’s not about him being rich…it’s about us being happy and I don’t know if we are any more.I mean he gives me a hard time about not working.”

Leonie raised her perfectly arched eyebrows and said, “Well he left his girlfriend Melinda to be with you right I mean he must love you. He lets you live in his house and raise his kids…arguments don’t mean anything. Just give him a reason to forget why he was mad. Wink Wink.

I shook my head and blushed red as I said “LEONIE”

“What?” asked Leonie with a chuckle.

I shook my head and blushed as I giggled. My sister had certainly broke out of her shell.


“I went swimming with my mom today..I met her at the community pool. It was soo cool.” I said excitedly.

Jellybean nodded and listened as I told him about my day. I tried to be as descriptive as possible to explain everything to Jelly. He was very excited to hear everything and then asked, “Can I be real?”

I nodded and ran to my desk. Aunt Serafina had given me the potion a few days ago. I handed it to Jelly and told him what Aunt Sera said would happen. Jelly took the potion and eyed it suspiciously.

I nodded and smiled as Jelly drank the potion down in one gulp.

It felt like a zillion years had passed as I watched the transformation take place. Then Jelly changed…his eyes changed from buttons to a sparkling blue hue. His cotton body began to form into clothes…and then my best friend became real.

We worked on a story to tell my parents. Jelly was excited to be able to be real and for my family to finally be able to see him. I finally had a real best friend!


Leonie and I became good friends. She admired my ambition to be president and that I took care of my children. It also didn’t hurt that she was beautiful.

Leonie had come to live with us because her deal as an actress fell through in Bridgeport at the last minute. She had no plane fare or anything to get back home and didn’t want to face the embarrassment of telling people she had failed. I admired that she liked the finer things in life…even if she was a bit of a snob.

She had a great sense of humor and always made me laugh. I didn’t have to focus on the serious stuff with her like I did with Sierra.

Whenever Sierra and I had a fight it was Leonie that I went to. She always took my side and always understood what I had meant to say.

I thanked her with gifts and her face always lit up with appreciation.

She was so affectionate and sweet…

“I wish…you were mine.” I whispered one night while everyone was out.

Leonie stared at me seductively as she leaned in and kissed me. I should have pulled away. I knew it was wrong but I just didn’t care.

It was as after our lips met that I thought about Sierra and what this would do to her. I was cheating on the mother of my children…a wonderful mother.

What had I done?


It was so easy to seduce him…almost too simple. I chuckled. Men are all the same…just begging to be tempted. What can I say? I get what I want at whatever cost possible.

A look at the past.


This has to be a dream…a cruel and horrible dream.Why would I torture myself to think about Terry after all this time…Why would I cause myself to pretend he was still here with me.

“Is it so wrong to dream Kristie?” Terry asks. His green eyes twinkle like emeralds as he chuckles at my shock.

Terry…what are you doing here? How do you feel so real? I must be dying…this must be what the afterlife is like.” I voiced

Terry chuckled again and said, ”’re not dead. I just am visiting you in a dream.”

I nodded and cuddled closer to him, “Why do you look my age?”

Well this is your perception on what I would look like if I had lived. I’ve missed you darling…I missed you so much. How is Chad?” Terry asked softly as he kissed my forehead.

I took a deep breath and said, “Chad is a successful politician like my Uncle Marques had been. Though…I am worried about him Terry. He has so many women in and out of his life. He already has two children and I’m just afraid he’ll never settle down. I think I am the cause of his commitment issues and his perfectionist tendencies. I just wish I could have been the mother he wanted.”

Terry shook his head sadly, “He wasn’t like that as a child. Chad had always been so carefree and loving, I should never have left him.”

Tears sprang to my eyes at the mention of Terry’s passing. “I wish I could have just one day back. One day to spend with the both of you as a family.

Terry sat up and smiled, “I could give you that..I could let you see into one of Chad’s days from his childhood. It would basically be like your looking into a memory but Chad will have no memory of you being there. You’ll be able to feel and taste everything. You can hold Chad and tickle him yet it will not be the real thing. We can’t change what has happened.”

 I nodded my head even though I only understood some of what he said. Within seconds I was transported into my old body. The arthritis from my hands had dissipated and the wrinkles had vanished. I put my hand to my heart as I stared at Terry. He was a gorgeous as I remembered.

  “What did you do?” I whispered.

“I gave you what you wanted Kris…a second chance.” Terry whispered.

Suddenly Chad waddled in and smiled triumphantly at Terry.

“Daddy I pottied!” Chad squealed. Terry scooped him up in his arms and tickled him all over. Chad huddled close to Terry as I looked on.

” Chad this is your remember her don’t you?” Terry asked.

Chad raised his eyebrows and then stared at me before breaking into a huge smile. “MOMMA”. Terry chuckled as he handed Chad to me. “Why don’t you two go for a walk?”

 I looked at Chad expecting him to protest but instead he looked at me expectantly. I forgot how much of a friendly baby Chad had been. I fed him a bottle and then put him in the stroller to go outside.

We toured the streets unnoticed and I spent the time talking to Chad. I told him how much I love him and how different I wish his life was. I apologized for leaving him but when I peered into the stroller Chad was fast asleep. I sighed and turned the stroller around to go home.

 As I picked Chad up he smiled at me sleepily. I tickled him and he burst out laughing. His eyes were full of such love, such acceptance that it caused me to smile as well. I wish I had never left him.

I walked into the house and Terry took sleepy Chad from my arms. We tucked him into bed together. Then we were alone…it felt like a first date and after 60 years…I was rusty. Luckily Terry wasn’t.

As we disentangled ourselves from the embrace I began to feel like something was tugging on me. I looked at Terry quizzically and he could see my fear.

“Your waking up Krissy.” Terry whispered sadly.

No not yet please…” I yelled.

Then it felt like I was in fast forward. I watched Chad’s first birthday…

I watched his first day of school…his first day at boy scouts…I even saw him earn his first scouting badge.

It felt like  the real world and the dream world were tugging on me in opposite directions. I tried to hold on and then suddenly Terry kissed me again.

I cried as he kissed me. There was such passion and desperation behind that kiss..I could feel him struggling to hold on to me. Struggling to keep me one last time…and losing me all over again.

 The memories began to play faster and faster…I was slipping away.

Suddenly I felt the wrinkles slowly creeping back onto my body. My hands began to ache with pain from years of painting. My hair began to have specks of gray once more..

“Don’t leave me Terry please…don’t leave me..” I sobbed as I struggled to hold him close. Yet he was not alive…it was his memory I was holding. While I was aging quickly Terry still looked like he was in his twenties. He could not come with me to the present.

“I love you Terry….” I whispered before I heard the beeping of my alarm.

 Beep Beep Beep…Beep Beep Beep.


Sierra was good with Jonathan..she treated him like her own son. She told me her wish to have a big family and I had no problem giving that to her. My son and our daughter would be surrounded by love in our home with Sierra as a mother.

Though as the children got older they began to question my actions.

“Dad when are you and Sierra getting married?” Jon asked. “I mean shouldn’t you guys be like common law married or something. You’ve lived together forever!” Jon still considered Melinda to be his mother therefore he called Sierra by her name. Melinda called every other week to check on him and visited him at school sometimes. Sierra encouraged this because she felt it was good Jon had a relationship with his mother.

Jonathan was very smart and read too many law books for his own good. I struggled to swallow my food as he mentioned that word. Marriage. I mean what Sierra and I had was good..we loved each other. The sex was great and we were a family. I gave her a ring what else could she want?

“Marriage isn’t for everyone son.” I answered.

Jon looked at me and opened his mouth to say something but decided not to. I breathed a sigh of relief that he had dropped the topic. Though I had to wonder….for how long?


Jellybean had been my best friend ever since I was a child. My mother told me she gave me the doll before dad made her leave. I hated that my dad had cheated on my mom but I did like Sierra. She made my favorite cookies and milk every night. My mom was really nice but kinda was a couch potato and didn’t like cooking.

Jelly bean was real but nobody could see him. I know Sierra and my dad worried about me but I tried to tell them Jelly was real! Then Aunt Serafina told me she would work on a potion that could get everyone to see Jelly. I told Jelly this and he was excited but scared. I told him it would be fun if everyone didn’t think I was crazy. J.B. agreed he would think about it but I told him he had time. I just hoped he would become real.

I mean Jelly is the only friend I have who understands how I feel about my dad. Everyone else thinks I’m so lucky to live in a mansion and have a nice step-mom. They don’t know how dysfunctional everything is…they don’t know.






Get out…but leave the baby

…..Chad’s ladies:….

“HE’LL never stay with you!” Melinda screamed.

“He loves me! Can’t you understand that!?” Sierra yelled.

“He loves me you homewrecker! We were engaged! We have a child until you came along and ruined it all! We have been in love since high school!” Melinda sneered.

“Melinda…I understand you and Chad have a past. I respect that and I love Jonathan he’s a smart little boy and very adorable. I never wanted to hurt anyone Melinda. I love Chad and he loves me. I don’t want to fight with you…we are both mothers to Chad’s children. I wnat us to get along and honestly I never wanted to hurt you. Chad and your relationship was on the rocks long before I came. Can we please just call a truce?” Sierra asked softly.

“I’ll never forgive you for what you did! You whore.” Melinda hissed.

Sierra’s face crumpled as Melinda spoke. Melinda hated Sierra for ‘stealing’ Chad and causing him to leave her.  Sierra’s naturally good heart weighed heavy in her chest; she never wanted to hurt anyone but she loved Chad. Sierra wanted a family and Chad had already given her the great gift of being pregnant. She hoped Melinda would eventually learn to like her and maybe trust her.


It was very strange having two women who loved my son living in my house.  I doted on my grandson Jonathan, he reminded me of my daughter Serafina and my father both were geniuses.

Jonny looked a lot like Chad and Terry. Those green eyes and the shaggy brown hair reminded me of Chad as a child. I know Terry would loved the friendly little boy since he had always been a nurturing person. I tried to be the best grandmother to Jonny that I could. When he cried it was either I or the girls who ran to his bedside. The child never wanted for anything.

Chad was a great father to his son and always came home to spend time with him. He would always come home after working at City Hall and would run to play with Jonny.


Jonathan Dresden…my little boy. He was a year old already…my little boy was a year old.  When Chad had presented me with the divorce papers I had crumpled them up and threw them on the ground. I had yelled, cried and screamed at him until my throat was sore. When Chad had moved that woman into our home I ignored him and focused only on our little boy.

It was when Chad had asked me to give him full custody of our son…that is when I begun to truly hate him. He asked me to see reason…to understand him…to support his love for his new girlfriend…Screw him. I refused to give up up my son! He was my flesh and blood and I loved him…

It is now more than a year since the drama unfolded. I have lived in this house as my husband slept with his pregnant girlfriend. I had to see them kiss, hug and hold each other every day. I simply couldn’t do it any longer. Chad had threatened to blemish my reputation as a mother if I took him to court for our son. His family’s prestige, money and power would crush me. I had no family, no job and no money of my own. I had to make the best choice I could…I had to leave Jonathan with his father.

I only hoped he would forgive me.


“She signed the papers love….Melinda signed them! I’m officially divorced!” I chanted happily as I held Sierra in my arms.

Sierra’s eyes lit up as she heard my news. I led her out to the main hallway and got down on one knee.

“Sierra…there is something I had wanted to ask you for so long….” I began

“Will you be my wife Sierra..will you please?” I begged.

“Oh Chad yes of course I will!” Sierra squealed with delight as I slipped the ring on her finger.

I grabbed her and held her close. For once everything felt okay…it all felt right.


Serafina came down the stairs softly and it was Chad who pointed her out. We all stared at her in awe..I had never seen Serafina in heels and make up ever. My little girl was beautiful. I had asked if she wanted me to set her up on a date but quickly told me she didn’t need anyone else to have fun. My little girl had always been a loner. I was just happy she was actually going to prom instead of spending all night playing with her science table.

I’m happy at least one of my children was doing so well. I do have to admit Chad was a good father to Jonny. He read to him every night until the little baby drifted off to dreamland.

Though I wondered how well would he would do now that he had a daughter to care for as well?

Little Amber was born late at night and was a surprise to us all. She was adorable with her little puff of blond hair but I wondered who would she take after.

I did not want Jonny to feel lonely so I often played him music on my father’s old guitar while he played with his doll.

I often went to see Melinda and would show her pictures of Jonny since she didn’t get to see the boy.

I thought it was very childish of Chad to take away her custody but he kept saying “she abandoned him…the way you abandoned me.” I feel that boy would never forgive me even after I was dead and buried.

Serafina often babysat the kids for Sierra so she could get some down time. I thought it was sweet especially since Amber took a liking to her Auntie Sera.

I just hoped there were no more children any time soon especially since Serafina had graduated and planned on going to medical school…no more babysitter.

Chad was lucky to have Sierra…I would have left a dog like him. I hope he realized how great she is before he loses her too.